The Great Conspiracy Conspiracy

Of all the great American traditions, keeping the government off our backs ranks between 4th of July backyard barbecues and rejecting Saturday Night Live at some point because, "all the funny actors are gone. Even Tim Meadows." From bucking the Red Coats to making sure every American has at least one gun for each day of the week, and a few to coordinate with evening wear, we, the proud Patriots of this US of A, don't like being told what to do. But these are tense times in our beloved country. Mass shootings are run amok, rotten Barak Obama is trying to ensure everyone has health care which is basically a war crime, and our economy is one rocky pay cycle from having to take out a fast cash title loan from China. I mean, it is 69.57% APR, but we really need the 1300 bucks. Seeing as how the citizens of this great nation are above reprisal, there is something far more sinister at work, and none dare call it a conspiracy.

Well, actually, lots of people call it a conspiracy. This is another one of the proud American traditions, and it's really just a subcategory of our stringent anti-government stance. We don't like governments because, as the true freedom fighters know, by nature, their success is measured in oppression. When their conventional methods of repression no longer work, the well-orchestrated conspiracy is the only recourse. Naturally, I love a good conspiracy, but deep in my heart, I'm an Occam's razor guy. Amongst competing hypotheses, the one which makes the fewest assumptions should be selected. It's a radical position because it squarely drops me into the--we landed on the moon, terrorists perpetrated 9/11, Adam Lanza committed the atrocities at Sandy Hook Elementary, and there are no Lizard People holding elected office--camp. The last sentence isn't made to make light of any of these things, but it adds some perspective to the dizzying--and at times galling--state of modern conspiracy theory.

To know the modern conspiracy, it's key to know the preeminent voice in what he dubs the "information war," Mr. Alex Jones. If you had to conjure the image of world renowned Austin, Texas based alternative news impresario, would he be white, middle aged, and...well, paunchy is strong, let's call it stout? As long as this is America and there is a God in heaven, he is all of those things with the gravel pocked voice to set it off. And personally, I hope he stays this way forever. He shouldn't be allowed to look a day over 50, an age he's looked since picking up the bullhorn in 1996 at age 22.

Alex Jones is the hardest working man in "Truth" business. He broadcasts his radio show seven days a week for at least three hours a day, prints a newsletter, runs multiple websites, most prominently infowars.com, and has produced/directed over 29 films. Whether or not you believe what he has to say, you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who believes anything as passionately as Alex Jones. If you were lucky enough to watch Alex Jones when he was still on Austin Public Access, it was like being at the Six Gallery reading. Beautiful, aggressive, untethered, frustrated, this was a man crowing out against the economic girth of the Clinton era when Oklahoma City, Ruby Ridge, and Waco were the humble designs made to destroy this onec great nation. This was when Alex was a young go hard sneaking into Bohemian Grove and hosting screenings of They Live at Alamo Drafthouse. Alex even did a Best of Alex Jones film in 2000, and much like looking at a copy of the Stones Big Hits (High Tide and Green Grass), you would think to yourself, "A greatest hits record? This catalog has not even begun..."

9/11 was the consolidation point in the Alex Jones movement. Already broadcasting online, and with the confluence of fear, confusion, and a severely battered American psyche, people flocked to Alex in droves. Now, in 2013, Alex Jones has a daily radio audience numbering in the millions and hits on YouTube more than fifty fold that figure. Jones has had two cameos in Richard Linklater films, conducted interviews with celebrity sympathizers ranging from Charlie Sheen to Heidi Montag, and has left a rash of unforgettable TV appearances in his wake, most recently with CNN's Piers Morgan.

What does Alex Jones believe? How much time ya got, buddy?

In broad strokes, there is a satanic cult of Globalists bent on total world domination. This includes the New World Order, Illuminati, Bilderberg group, etcetera, etcetera. Within this greater context there are operations big and small: 9/11 was an inside job, FEMA ran death camps after Katrina, the economic meltdown was manufactured, Aurora and Sandy Hook were both part of a government orchestrated gun grab, there are laboratories in Bastrop, Texas where scientists are working on a chimp/human, "humanzee," super-soldier, and Django Unchained is media conditioning used to make us okay with the collective murder of white people. 

Alex Jones has persevered through three different presidencies, and his talking points will not change with the tide. The designations of right wing git or anarchist or crank or conspiracy theorist are a rotating band of monikers swapped back and forth depending on who is in power. Alex even acknowledges as much in an article from Rolling Stone:

To Jones, what matters most is the "continuity of agenda at the top. When I called Clinton a Wall Street puppet, they called me a right-wing extremist. When I said the same about George W. Bush, they called me an anti-war communist. Now that I'm against Obama for the same reasons, mainline conservatives embrace me. When I attack the next right-wing 'savior,' they're gonna call me a communist again."

To wit, the people posting Sandy Hook as Obama ploy videos to their Facebook pages along with cunning insights like "WTF?!?" are the same who would scoff at the George W. Bush and Co. as 9/11 perpetrators videos, which is crazy, because 9/11 The Road to Tyranny is some primo Jones cannon. But it's not really about what Alex, or anyone else, believes. As with all conspiracies, it's about what you believe.

Let's take a second to do a full breakdown of what is purported to have happened at Sandy Hook:

A sick, disturbed Adam Lanza took guns from his mother, killed her, drove to a local elementary school, and indiscriminately massacred staff and children.

=OR=

Multiple shooters none of which may or may not have been Adam Lanza (either an activated sleeper cell or patsy) descended on Sandy Hook Elementary school and executed a mass murder. According to eye witness reports, there was a man seen in the woods with camo on and guns. The car the guns were found in didn't even belong to Adam Lanza. Of course, all of this was orchestrated by the Obama administration to garner public support for more gun control.

=OR=

Multiple shooters none of which may or may not have been Adam Lanza (either an activated sleeper cell or patsy) descended on Sandy Hook Elementary school and executed a mass murder because Adam Lanza's father was soon to be testify in senate hearings about the LIBOR banking scandal and it was all a distraction (PS. Aurora Shooter James Holmes father was scheduled to testify in THE SAME TRIAL!). Of course, all of this integral to the Obama administration's plot to garner public support for more gun control.

=OR=

Multiple shooters none of which may or may not have been Adam Lanza (either an activated sleeper cell or patsy) descended on Sandy Hook Elementary school and executed a mass murder because, Adam Lanza's father works for GE doing genetic engineering and Adam Lanza's mother was draining him dry with child support paymentys. Per GE's buddy-buddy ties with the Obama administration the massacre was given the go ahead. Of course, all of this integral to the Obama administration's plot to garner public support for more gun control.

=OR=

None of it happened at all, and the parents are crisis actors (one of which is also James Holmes lawyer) hired by the Obama administration to fake grieve thus creating emotional currency to lubricate a wholesale government gun grab. The Dark Knight Rises and Hunger Games were essential in both pre-programming us for these attacks. One neighborhood in Christopher Nolan's Gotham was renamed Sandy Hook and was circled by Bane as "Strike Zone #1." Also, during the collapse of the stadium in DKR, the powerful elite in Gotham are standing in booth 322, a number favored by the Skull and Bones secret society. Oh, and the Hunger Games you ask:

...SGT Report cites a "coincidence" that will leave you thinking about a planned scenario at Newtown, just the kind of operation secret societies are reputedly famous for. In The Hunger Games, many times called a model of predictive programming, the ritual sacrifice of 23 children is carried out. Twelve districts, two children from each district; they fight in pairs and kill each other until one winner is left. 23 children are killed. In Newton, Adam Lanza killed 20 children. The author of The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins, is listed by Wikipedia as one of the famous people who lives in Newtown. You take it from there. Call it whatever you want to. I try to avoid winging big stretches, but this is too stunning to omit. WTF.

 WTF, indeed. But still, Obama administration. Take away guns.

Less fascinating than the theories themselves is the layer where one opts out. Where on this landmass does one erect their boundary of disbelief, rest their arm on the gate, and say, "Nice place, but these neighbors of mine are fucking crazy."

Is it easier to believe there are phantom shooters so loyal to the Globalists they would murder children indiscriminately? Is it easier to believe the entire Newton police force would be complicit in covering the Obama administrations tracks? Is it easier to believe a man called to testify (in a hearing that does not exist) would endorse a child massacre to throw attention off his testimony (in a hearing, if it existed, no one would watch anyway)? Is it easier to believe a man would rather have his wife murdered, frame his son, and then execute 20 children to "validate" the attack instead of pay child support? Is it easier to believe multiple actors so deep in the pockets of the powers that be would fake their way through a tragedy worth millions of lifetimes of pain? Is it easier to believe this conspiracy has been in the works since The Hunger Games and DKR were mere concepts several years ago? Is it easier to believe this couldn't be another senseless mass shooting in a nation who has experienced 30 since 1999?

For me, all save the first option are a stretch. And before it comes off like I'm an aspiring Technocrat heartily patting himself on the back, it's not the prospect of all this stuff being wrong, but what if it's right?

Sandy Hook alone would be a conspiracy hundreds of people deep. The other shooters, the police force, the crisis actors, the compliant media, Suzanne Collins, Christopher Nolan, all players. 9/11 is a conspiracy thousands of people deep. Corporations, Government, black ops cells, all participants in this flawless plan. Then you have to factor in the Jewish Liberal Run Media conspiracy. The conspiracy against the poor. The conspiracy against minorities. The conspiracy against the wealthy. The hip-hop conspiracy. The fluoridation of the water conspiracy. The UFO conspiracy. The moon landing conspiracy. The addictive food conspiracy. The AIDS conspiracy. The crack cocaine conspiracy. The media mind control conspiracy. The Maine, the Lusitania, Pearl Harbor, the Moon Landing, the Gulf of Tonkin incident, Waco, Oklahoma City, the first World Trade Center bombing, Columbine, 9/11, Aurora, Sandy Hook... If it's all true, all taught threads in an elaborate web of conspiracy, there quickly comes a juncture where we are all complicit. We are all part of the conspiracy.

If you go far enough down the wormhole, you'll find Operation Mockingbird, the conspiracy outing Alex Jones as a CIA disinformation agent. Why is all of his information correct? He says info dumps by the likes of WikiLeaks are a classic CIA disinformation ruse. How can the media sources he cites be the only accurate ones? He snuck into the ultra-secure Bohemian Grove, or was he placed in there? I'm supposed to believe the Mocking Bird being the state bird of Texas is just a coincidence? Alex Jones is a hegemonic source of controlled information dispersion who would not pass his own sniff test. I want definitive proof he's not part of THEIR game. What, because he says it's so? Sounds like a lot of Borg Stasi double talk to me.

And herein lies the real problem with conspiracy theory: there is no bottom. Nothing can be proved beyond all doubts, reasonable and unreasonable alike. Conspiracy is not a results business. It's an implication business, it's an innuendo business, and above all else, it's a talk, talk, talk business. Conspiracies eliminate accountability. Conspiracies rely on broad villains like the Government, the Corporations, the Media, and the most notorious of all, the "they". I've never heard Alex Jones describe his plan for the day after the revolution, or what this revolution even looks like. I've never understood what the Globalists' endgame really is. Total submission of every human on the planet? Okay, then what? It seems like such a petty end with no upside for all the work put in. It's all talk, and Alex Jones talks by the ton, and insomuch, he benefits from the perpetuation of the conspiracy as much as his invisible adversaries.

So...the conspiracy is the conspiracy? The concept is beautifully illustrated in a classic South Park episode, "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce," and it's well worth your 22 minutes. The underlying premise is all of the 9/11 conspiracy theories are created and dispensed by the US Government. Why would the government want its citizens to think it enacted 9/11? Because if they control everything, then people don't have to come to grips with the fact they don't control anything.

I'm not foolish enough to say false flag attacks and government sponsored black ops both large and small don't happen, but it's the exception and not the rule. There is a reason all of these historic examples ultimately come to light: people cannot keep their yaps shut. There are too many threads to keep subdued. You're telling me the impossible to tally conspirators in these elaborate plans are not gonna big mouth it to their friends? Even as a plan on paper some conspiracies seem viable, but when you remember a bunch of idiot humans have to execute said plan without a hitch, it's all a little unlikely. If you consider the sheer surface area of individuals expected to keep these nefarious plots under wraps, and it still seems believable, you have clearly never organized a surprise birthday party.

And if it's true, if the reach of this group is so thorough, so vast, what are we really gonna do? Keep talking? Got it.

Even the conspiracy as conspiracy implies a certain level of competence and cooperation from those at the top that it would actually be kind of refreshing if it were true. So, what then? After all the nonsense and paranoia is wicked away, the conspiracies deflated of their plausibility, what are we left with? The most sinister conspiracy of all: the conspiracy against ourselves.

Conspiracy theories are solipsism. Profound self-involvement, escapism, and exceptionalism trembling inside a version of truth so grossly devolved, it hardly resembles its namesake. Unable to accept such helplessness in the face of chaos, like children being gunned down in a random act of violence, the act has to have been perpetrated by a wicked cabal with unlimited power and resources. Disgusted with the facts, these facts become the lie, something only a select few have the willingness to see through. No matter how spurious the logic, these noble few know the real answers, and won't be fooled again . And in knowing these answers, perpetuating said truths is the only rebellion. No running for office, no effort to destroy this system from the inside, just tune in, talk, make a YouTube video, and rest easy knowing these efforts are the boldest kind of action--inaction. Impotent in a middling existence, crushed under the weight of ambitions unfulfilled, the results of this life couldn't be traced back to the one living it. It must be the work of some outside force who--with their limitless web of influence and coconspirators--have put the good few under prepetual assault. Because these people mean so much, they have to matter.

Perhaps I'm all wrong and right where the THEY want me. There are sleeper cells in every home. The gears within gears are convoluted by design to create further deception. Every politician is a puppet. Every corporation is in lockstep. The media is a singular entity bloated with the misinformation fed to them by the Globalist Decepticons. Or maybe, this executive board of seven white men who control everything really control only one thing--the most important thing of all--the critical inches between the ears ceded to them.